Conflict Management/Resolution Reflection #1

One of my goals for 2008 at Resurrection is to further develop a skill set for conflict management/resolution.  I had lunch yesterday with Molly Simpson, campus pastor of Resurrection West and was blessed by our time together.

One of the suggestions that Molly made was that I take the time to read discover your conflict management style by Speed Leas.  I borrowed a copy from another pastor and look forward to reading it and taking the assesment that is included within.

Next week I’m having lunch with Dan Entwistle and look forward to hearing what he has to say about managing and resolving conflict.  I’ll share reflections about what I’ve learned through both of these conversations after next week.

Again, I’m open to hearing from any of you regarding tools or concepts that you’ve found to be helpful when managing conflict.

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One response to “Conflict Management/Resolution Reflection #1

  1. We read a book in Div school called Getting to Yes (or was it Getting Past No? they’re sister books). It discusses the importance of remembering your BATNA: Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement. That means, if I walk away from this negotiating table/fight/argument/etc right now, what will I have? Write it down, and then as things proceed, never go below your BATNA. It sounds very clinical, but it has a lot of value for family conflict counseling (we talked about it a lot in class). Often in conflict resolution, both parties want to win and make the other party lose. When you continually look at the BATNA, you will see that there is always a third way out of the situation, which opens your eyes up to the MANY ways to handle it.

    Anyway–great book. Really dry, an easy skim-in-two-hours book, but incredibly useful. If we ever get our books unpacked I’ll loan you mine, but it is probably at the library too!

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